II Timothy 1:7 - "Scars"

God woke me to these words from the song Scars...

So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

Now I'm standing in confidence
With the strength of your faithfulness
And I'm not who I was before
No, I don't have to fear anymore

This is exactly how I feel. I know that every 'tough' time I have gone through in life was an experience that grew my faith. I remember as I young girl being fearful of my brother-in-law who killed my sister coming to kill me. Even though I knew he had also killed himself I never saw him dead. As a child, that produced fear. When I would be home alone, I would go to my room and barricade the door so if he came, he wouldn't be able to get into me. As an adult, that doesn't make sense but as a child the fear was real. One of my friends convinced me to pray for God to take the fear away and He did. I had the choice to stay living in fear or allow God to be my strength. That is how life is. God is like a smorgasbord. We can choose to 'partake' of Him or not. We can be choosy in taking bits and pieces of Him or we can take all of Him. We can walk away from Him still hungry or we can be stuffed full. It's a choice we all have to make. I'm grateful for the desire to have more of Him. I'm grateful for the way He fills me up to overflowing with His Holy Spirit every day. I'm grateful for the knowledge that He is the One I choose to lead me in life. Plain and simple. I'm grateful for my life in Him. This morning I think of Psalm 34:8. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. In The Passion Translation this verse begins: Drink deeply of the pleasures of this God. The root word for "see" in Hebrew is taken from a word that means "to drink deeply." Woo hoo! When I go to a smorgasbord, I eat and drink a lot. Even before Doc started with the pancreatic cancer I could out eat him. LOL. But we both eat and drink of the Lord as much as we can. We love to be filled by His Holy Spirit to the point of Him oozing out of us. We stand in His love and empowerment as II Timothy 1:7 tells us to do. He goes before us. He already knows the outcome of today's oncologist appointment. We have nothing to fear but instead trust Him. I love this picture He brought to me this week...

He knew I needed this reminder. He is so good at providing what I need, sometimes even before I realize I need it. I was so bummed last night when we had to cancel children/teen activities due to the traffic jam. But as I prayed for Him for wisdom on making the decision He gave me peace. Then when I found out the disappointment in some of the children when they found out they would not have supper my heart hurt. I was so grateful to find out He provided them with a meal. There are many who have never had to go hungry so they can't comprehend the situation these children are in. I am so grateful He has put them in our life. Five are moving out-of-state over the next few months. I've been praying for God to put people in their lives who will be Him to them. My heart breaks to see them go. I know they have learned His love through us and just pray it will be enough to get them through times of hunger and loneliness. I can't go with them but I can trust Him to be with them.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for this song that reminds me I have nothing to fear! Thank You for the knowledge that You always know the outcome of every situation! Thank You for providing food for the children last night who were not going to have dinner since we didn't meet! Thank You for giving peace for Doc's oncologist appointment today! Thank You for being with me during the night when I was struggling physically! As I cried out, 'Oh God help me!' You were there. You are always there and for that I am grateful! Father, there are so many hurting people in this world. I pray for more people to come into relationship with You. I pray for more people to realize the 'tough' times of life produce Scars they can look upon as times of spiritual growth. I pray for more people to make the step to live in Your empowerment. Oh Father, I pray for more believers to die to self so they can fully partake of You. Thank You for the news yesterday of Shirley having a clean biopsy and Nada's continuation of being cancer free! Woo hoo! You are so, so good! Thank You Jesus for being My Fullness! Amen.