II Timothy 1:7 - "I Have This Hope"

For a twenty-four hour period I prayed about a certain situation. During that time every time I tried to come up with a solution I intentionally gave it over to God and stopped. As I waited on His answer I was intentional in not fretting over the outcome. Praise His Holy Name for not only sharing the outcome rather quickly with me but most importantly for being with me throughout the waiting time. I am grateful for the reminders that He had everything under control and there was no reason to worry. I also am grateful for the peace  I had in this 'waiting room' of life. Another situation in life right now isn't as easy to deal with. After the initial shock of the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer in Doc I prayed and was at peace. I continued to be strong throughout the first months while praying and seeking God's healing in his body. Month after month has passed. Some prayers were answered in the way I desired when I would pray for strength for him to do a particular thing or to not be sick after a treatment. But the prayer for healing remains unanswered. The days seem to be getting harder. Today with going back for chemo after being off over the holidays is very tough on him. Actually, it is tough on both of us as I listen to the agony he is going through emotionally just thinking about it. Last night as the tears fell I cried out to God once again for his healing while on this earth. I included 'sooner than later' in my prayers. Seeing him go through this is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. I'm thankful my faith is growing and I feel God is nearer to me than He ever has been. It's not God being different but my relationship with Him making me feel this way. He is keeping I Have This Hope in my mind this week. I know it is to remind me to hang onto the hope I have in Him.

But sometimes my faith feels thin
Like the night will never end
Will You catch every tear
Or will You just leave me here?

Yes! This is where I am living. There are times when I feel like I can't go on. It feels like the darkness of C will never end. God reminds me of how He healed me from breast C through doctors, surgery, and radiation. As my friend Lee told me last night, I can't ever give up. It's so hard when the world tells you pancreatic cancer is a death sentence and there is little to no hope for survival. But just as I told Doc last week God is the One to have the final say.

But I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

Yes! God is with us. He will never leave us. There is comfort in this knowledge. There is also comfort in the knowledge that He has the final say. I cannot give up. I will not give up. I refuse to allow the enemy any open door. Instead I will be intentional in standing on II Timothy 1:7 in His empowerment. I will be intentional in thinking about how God is always with me. I will be intentional in encouraging Doc any way the Lord leads. I feel very unsuccessful in that area right now. It seems like no matter what I say it doesn't mean as much as what he reads or hears from others. But I must not give up in speaking words of life that the Lord gives me for him. 

Dear Jesus,

Thank You once again for this song and Scripture that encourage me to continue looking to You! Thank You for the rather quick response to a prayer request and for the way You worked in and through me as I waited for Your answer! Thank You for people who encourage me! Thank You for the reminder from Lee that I cannot give up! Thank You for the opportunities You gave me yesterday to love with Your love! I pray You will cleanse me so You can fill me today so I can love more intentionally with Your love. Lord, I pray for Doc as he goes for chemo to have Your empowerment to not allow the enemy an open door. I pray Your strength to be His. Father, I also pray this will be the treatment that shrinks the cancer so it can surgically be removed. May You be glorified through his healing on this earth. I pray for: Peggy's Momma who is having a heart cath today; Mike who had a heart procedure yesterday; Jim who had eye surgery; Steve as he continues to heal from Peggy's death; a friend whose mother died in the last few days; our military personnel, president and others who are in the front-line of decisions being made to protect our country; and so many others on my prayer list who need a healing in their physical, mental, emotional, financial, and most of all spiritual bodies. Thank You Jesus for being My Hope! Amen.