For the last few days I have dealt with an distraction in my physical body. One of the definitions of distraction is an "extreme agitation of the mind or emotions." Oh my! That is exactly how this can be described. It is extremely agitating to have tingling in your mouth and on your nose and now as I type this the side of my head has started tingling too. It makes me want to cry, which of course I have given into a few times. It makes me want to scream. This is one of those things that makes MS a disease that people say 'well you look so good' even though there are things going on inside me. I have prayed. I have asked others to pray. And still it is with me. I go back to Psalm 37:4 this morning...Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart (NIV). I do delight in Him. He is My Everything. So what am I missing? What am I doing wrong? Those are the thoughts that start to come. But I can't, I won't allow the enemy any foothold in my life. I know the enemy does not like my devotion to the Lord. I also know he does not like that the Lord has control of my life. So as I say that I think what many have voiced to me in the past. If the Lord is in control, why do you have MS? I don't know why for sure but I do know He has told me over and over that the purpose for it is for Him to be glorified. That is my goal in life. To glorify Him. I am not sure how I can do that today with all of this tingling BUT I will do my best. I am praying I can live out James 1:2-4...
I will persevere through this time. I know when I do not only will my faith grow but most importantly He will be glorified. I will not allow the enemy to get any sense of accomplishment through me. The Lord is the Only One to get that. Dear Jesus, Thank You for these words of encouragement today. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for a husband who does not get worked up with his wife falling apart and crying. Thank You for the strength to get through days like this. Thank You for a disease that does not kill me but rather just annoys me and stretches my faith. Lord, fill me with more of You. Father, Your body does not have MS. As I strive to be Christ-like, I pray for a body without MS. I pray in Your name for a complete healing in my body. Lord, today I will be around many people with the District dinner. Please enable me to enjoy the evening and not fall apart. Lord, I do not want to give any glory to the enemy through my words so I pray You will give me words of life when people ask how I am doing. Enable me to focus on the positive not on what I am dealing with this day. You know what Lord it would even be more awesome if my evening all of this tingling were gone! But I know I only want Your will and perhaps I am dealing with this for someone else's benefit. Whatever the reason, be glorified. If there is a lesson to be learned, I pray my eyes will be opened up to it. Thank You Jesus for being The One I Want To Glorify. Amen.
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