"Why do I always have to be the one to do everything?"
"He must not love me as much as I love him or he would do that without me asking!"
Oh my, oh my! How many times did these words go through my mind or fly out of my mouth! They are words from a selfish, hurting person who thank the Lord has learned to find peace. Philippians 4:12 is a verse to hang onto, especially when going down the rocky roads of life.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,whether living in plenty or in want.
The Lord gives us those rocky roads to grow us. He wants us to learn from our situations. If life were always easy, what would we learn? Absolutely nothing.
As I am reading through "Women Living Well" Ignite the Fire series I am reminded of the early days of our marriage. URGH is all I have to say. I was ugly...my mood was ugly....my words were ugly....I was ugly. I don't know how we survived those days. As I reflect on those days, my hubby was ugly too. Ummmm....wonder why? LOL Who wouldn't be ugly back to someone who was being ugly to them! A lot of times, as human beings, we respond to the way people are to us with exactly the same attitude. Praise the Lord for the changes He has made in both of us over the years!
The website reads...
Webster’ Dictionary says kindness is: the quality of being friendly, generous, sympathetic and considerate. It is a genuine concern for the happiness of another.
I love this definition because it so clearly lays out what the 5 qualities a kind wife:
1. Be friendly – Be a good friend to your husband. Listen. Laugh. Hold his hand. Watch a ball game with him. Be at his side for the things that matter to him. Support him. Be his BEST friend!
2. Be generous – Be in the habit of giving generously to him without expecting anything in return. Selfless love is so rare in our culture. Live your life openhanded to your husband.
3. Be sympathetic – Show compassion toward the difficulties your husband faces. Listen to him and be understanding to his plights in life. Use caring, gentle words and pray with and for him daily.
4. Be considerate – Be careful to not hurt your husband. Be slow to speak and thoughtful about the power of your words and how they effect his soul. Part of being a good friend to him is caring about his feelings.
5. Be genuinely concerned about his happiness – the praise, respect, comfort and attention of a wife brings much strength, security and happiness to your husband.As I read through this list, I want to say I am all of these but to be honest I know I'm not all of these ALL the time. He deserves it ALL the time not just when I feel like it. It's easy to be kind to someone who is kind to you. What about when he isn't feeling well and is crabby? What about when he is under ministry stress and needs an outlet to vent? What about when he is too tired to give me the attention I want/need? Even in those times I need to strive to be kind.
I will admit that being in the ministry can play havoc on a marriage due to the stress it involves. But it also blesses a marriage by people who encourage you along the way. The people who realize how important it is for the two of you to have "down time". The people who financially bless you to make that "down time" doable. Most importantly the people who support you with prayers.
We just spent a wonderful seven days in the Caribbean with no contact with our "real" world. That probably sounds selfish but for a pastor to get away from their computer and phone for seven days is the most wonderful thing ever. When we went on our first cruise last year, I found it to be the perfect vacation because of this very reason. We were able to reconnect as a couple, not have to worry about the issues we were going through with people, and be renewed in our spirits. Last night was a good example of the stresses of our "real" world. In a matter of a few minutes we were asked to pray for: one who is going through issues of possible cancer with different family members; one who continues to be estranged from her family; one with major health problems; a family with financial issues; one who is in an abusive relationship and trying to get out; and one who is going through some major transition in their home. Yes, those all came in a matter of a few minutes. Thankfully the Lord is in control of all and we don't have to fix everyone's problems. All we have to do is allow the Lord to lead us as we minister. At the end of the day our "real" world can be heavy and leave us to the point of not having the kind words to say to one another. At the end of the day our "real" world can be challenging in the area of schedule and whether we see each other or not. At the end of the day our "real" world can be difficult as we minister to people who don't know the Lord or have turned away from Him. But at the end of the day we can be thankful we have each other and know we can depend upon the Lord to strengthen us through the tough times.
The challenge from this website this week is:
Ignite the fire of kindness in your home this week. Be intentional about showing your husband kindness this week. Plan a date just for him, treat him to his favorite meal, honor him wiht your words, and make him feel incredibly special.
Dear Jesus:
Thank you for these words from "Women Living Well" and for the way they took me back in reflecting upon how much my marriage has changed over the last twenty-four years. I praise You Lord for my husband who is a godly man. I praise You for the way He cares for me and loves me unconditionally. I praise You for his spiritual leadership in our home. Lord, thank You for the time we had recently had away. Thank You for renewing our relationship and our spirits. Lord, I pray for more kindness to flow out of me toward Doc. I pray for more words of encouragement for him. Lord, would you please keep my eyes open to what he needs? Amen.
http://womenlivingwell.org/2013/09/5-qualities-of-a-kind-wife/
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